Good Morning, Sunshine

Do morning people actually exist? I mean, seriously. If you’re out there, who are you? I’d love to know. I bet you cry like a Hollywood starlet and have never had a zit.

For the rest of us regular Janes who arise reluctantly after the fifth smack of the snooze button, dried-drool clinging to our cheeks and a nascent fear that someone, somewhere today will have had the audacity to choose our alarm as their ringtone — the minute our consciousness reawakens for the day ahead is nothing short of white hot hell.

While there’s not much to be done about a natural urge to curse every hour between 2am and 12pm, there are a few sure-fire ways to make your morning routine stop resembling the lowest layer of Dante’s Inferno.

1. Put some distance between you and your iPhone

We ALL do it. As instinctual a reflex as scrolling through Instagram on the toilet, everyone lunges for their phone first thing in the morning. As soon as my eyes are open, I want to be actively staring at every notification I’ve received since last night.

While the temptation to start my day like this is real (so real), the impact of plugging-in as soon as I wake up isn’t exactly positive. I read a piece of bad news, get a rejection letter, or, as has happened more than once, I project all the negative feelings of waking up onto a sweet and innocent text from my unsuspecting boyfriend. Sorry, Connor.

Instead of scrolling, give yourself two minutes— JUST TWO MINUTES— of space between your sleepy self and the screen. This could take the form of an affirmation you repeat when you wake up, a breathing exercise, a mental catalog of the day ahead— literally anything that will serve as a moment of pause to start your day on the right foot before you dive into the social world.

If your phone is your alarm, I highly suggest investing in one of these bad boys instead. Or one of these, if you’re someone who desperately needs to hit snooze. Trust me on this one.

2. Prep, Prep, and Prep a Little More

If you’re anything like me, the process of getting ready for work or class or existing can be just MAD, I tell you, MAD. For ages, the only proper way to describe my morning routine was “scramble.” I was screwing myself over. Majorly.

Finally, I’d had enough. I decided to do future me a favor, and turn the morning scramble into a morning glide.

Start by planning your outfits for the week. I usually tackle this on Sunday night. Every morning, my clothes are waiting for me. There are no decisions to make, and nothing to consider/look for. Quite honestly, I can’t remember my own name before 10am, let alone where I put those particular black booties.

In a similar vein, meal prepping has become my best buddy. When you’ve overslept, being able to grab your midday meal— complete with bag, cutlery, and maybe even a “do your best today!!”-note — and run out the door is a godsend. Similarly, I highly recommend leaving coffee ready to go before you hit the hay, “just-add-water”-style.

Last but not least, prep your purse. The fact that I leave any items I need for the next day packed and waiting at the kitchen table before I turn in for the night has saved me on more than one occasion. Anything that can’t be packed at night is addressed in a carefully-crafted sticky note placed firmly on top of my bag/purse/briefcase. God, I love a good sticky note.  

3. Get Realistic About Your Time

What is most important to you in your morning? Do you crave a sit-down breakfast? Do you need to work out (because you’re secretly a morning person and have no need for this article)? Do you spend 30 minutes on a flawless face of makeup (I am sure it looks amazing, by the way).

Whatever the important things in your morning look like, recognize those things and plan accordingly. If you have thirty minutes after you exit the shower, and breakfast takes ten minutes while your workout takes fifteen minutes and you still have to dress and do your hair and makeup, something’s gotta give. Maybe you simplify your makeup routine to make room for breakfast, or shower at night instead to make room for  this fantastic yoga flow. The sky’s the limit.

4. Treat Yo’ Self

In order to motivate myself to do anything, including go to work or to class or be a functional member of society, I have to bribe myself with little treats throughout the day. The first of those is always my morning commute.

Now, I can already sense your ire: “commuting is GROSS.” But hear me out: Your commute is the one time of the day where not only are your hands tied, but so are everyone else’s. Whether you’re driving or walking or sitting on a train or a subway or riding a bike. In any case, you have a very good reason to be effectively out of reach. Cell service is spotty, your eyes are on the road,  you’re in motion. You have a nice chunk of beautiful, empty time on your hands.

I love to fill my morning A to B with a sweet, sweet slice of podcast. I might want to learn, or laugh, or be touched or get spooked, and my commute is the perfect time for it. Maybe you want to listen to music or sit in silence or read or nap. Whatever it is, give yourself a little present while you make your way to the daily grind.

Mornings are hard, and you are so, so ready to take on each and every one. Go get ‘em, champ. You can take today.